The war of art?

UPDATE: Check out Let's talk definitions.

I am a critic and someone who'd also like to be an artist, maybe in a field or two. But how do I improve when everyone disapproves?

One thing I want to believe in is to learn art because it is art, not because it will be my job someday. Thus, I entered an art school.

I know this is not the trend of today, as designs are evolving and everyone becoming an artist, but I still can't believe how some people would look at art as some tool to make money.

Yes, we design, compose, create and die to please, but then again, there would be people who would try to be more superior and see you as a lower entity. That's the life we entered, the waters in our minds in which people are oblivious about.

I mean, there are some who believe that they are already great to the point that they don’t appreciate another’s work, setting standards of their own, creating a closed mind to everything. I believe I am guilty of this, but try putting yourself in a panelist’s place when judging. And you are to criticize a student’s work.

You start to have an open mind and you become more inclined towards the student’s goal: to talk to people as if you were a client.

Now, people set standards of being strict. True enough that is how the industry goes. So, here, it is not art. You are confined to the limits of the client’s wants. And in the eyes of a panelist, they ask you to make them worthy. It would make you improve, maybe. But it would be better to express yourself first in order to create something better later on. And if you start working with clients, your creativity box will soon get smaller. To remedy this, create your own project and experiment with yourself on what you can do, not limit yourself with what you know in the past.

Well, that’s how I see it anyway. Clients will be a pain, and they have this image in mind that they want you to guess. Same goes for your fellow artists (read: competitors), they will try to know your weakness sooner or later, your techniques and your resources. One thing for a competitive artist to never give out is that.

It’s just this. “The weak are always trying to sabotage the strong.” A line from a Reese Witherspoon movie I forgot which about. True enough, those who become too conscious to focus on their improvement makes them inexpressive, less creative and clueless. And instead, they try to think high of themselves, make everyone feel inferior and criticize by the sideline.

Hell, I was like this. But thinking about it over and over makes you realize this huge, stupid mistake. You are in an art school to improve your mind, not to show off what you can do or that you can sell. You are here to ready yourself of future challenges, not the fixed trial of selling your art and design to the world.

Back to the panel, some panelists give you, “I don’t like this,” or. “This is moronic.”

They don’t know what they’re saying unless they justify. Always ask for a justification for in it lays your improvement. If none given, they are moronic themselves and it is they who should not be liked.

In real life, people would come up to you telling you things as such. A friend told me, “You’re irritating.” Of course, the quick response was a why. He answered completely in detail and with instances wherein he was irritated with me most. It made me change things, rather than first irk about what made me irritate him.

Anyway, try to be more objective, explore and create. Appreciate and criticize with justification and a suggestion on what one can do, but also point out what you like about one's art. If absolutely nothing, kindly tell him/her a better way to do it or what his/her mistake might be. Then finally say, “It’s just my opinion.”

But hey, remember to practice what you preach. And of course, I would be trying that out, too.

Cheers.

How about turning the tables?

You don't know what it's like.
You don't know what it's like.
You don't know what it's like to be like me.
You don't know, so keep your mouth shut.

- You Don't Know, Reel Big Fish

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Again, I move in anachronism.

Sometimes, you just start to have the guts to destroy the world when you think about everything. Don't ask me, it was from watching Dr. Horrible. It's kinda weird; his development in time is quick, yet justifiable. You can see how irrational a person can get.

It's amazing how one can also acquire this irrationality when certain situations occur. A small "happenstance", or it might be as huge as a world event. These things, if too much for a person to handle, are succumbed by irrationality.

The point of this entry is not for you guys to understand me, because you just don't know how rational I can't get. Of course, there are slips of irrationality most of the time, but what the hell; it’s human nature, yeah?

But too much rationality can make things worse. You start to put meaning into everything, you begin to analyze and sometimes, over read. It may be good for something, but never for everything. And if small things affect you, thinking about your analysis on something could make you feel like a kyphotic whiner.

So, what now?

I still don’t know. I got a lot of questions in my head, yet answers are gone. In concurrence with a high school friend, all things in the world really depend on something. And with the circumstances and thinking I just shared, it really depends on a human's environmental factor.

What to do?

I don't have a clue.

God, give me objects with blue paw prints.

Let's recap

I've had enough of being grounded.

I've had enough on being below everyone else.

I'm tired of raising people up.

I'm tired of people stepping on me.

I'm too nice, yet I am evil, as one would say.

What now?

Simple, move away from people who shadow you.

Those who kept you far behind the credit line.

No one would listen, right?

Time to find people who would listen.

Move your ass, Dean.

Define world

Now, a man could say that he has his own world.

True enough, one cannot really live in another man's world. Only he who owns it can handle and govern it. Given his ability to rule, to plan and to make better his world. His life.

His story.

History.

It's always in the making. Always on production, given no known schedules, it just goes on and on. And yet, no one can substitute the director of one's life. The scriptwriter, the dilemmas and decisions he writes.

Now, what's my point?

We live in a world, our world, that spins... changing seasons in time. Now, it's just a matter of adjusting yourself to the orbit. Or taking risks in creating a loop with another orbit. But what's better to think about, you are in the same galaxy, the same universe.

What's more is that you still own your own world. Whatever happens. If you fail in life, shut up! I mean, a star explodes then a new star replaces it. May take longer than the others to grow, but there is still hope for something new.

Hmm... Burning like a phoenix. Death, cremation, life.

Wow, what a lovely way to burn.

My life will be

Talked to Roel this afternoon and talked about the life of a video editor.

Basically, I will die sooner. The unhealthiness, the lack of sleep, everyday stress, re-edits are more prone, you will still be a part of the prod, the oc-ness in editing and everything else that follows it. That's just 10% of the factors. But yet, if you take away that in my life, I would be richer, more focused, have a social life, be less random, be prepared in everything, etc.

But why not have the better life? This is called doing what you love. You can't expect yourself to move forward with what you don't like. It's a personal issue of course. But then again, if I'm gonna live my life in poverty, I should get ready by doing a job I like, too. Make the most of it, then to the path you'd like to take. Or just plain begin with it and see what happens.

Hell, I dunno.

Then Roel asked me, "If you'd have a stable life that can still have luxury, but you take away the part of being a prod team, would you like that?"

No. Hell no.

Then out of the blue

I feel tired.

I feel worn out.

I feel stressed.

I feel wrong.

I feel used.

What's worse,

I feel abused.

Damn, and yet I smile.

Fear

One thing I can never fully understand is the concept of worry. What is it, really? A lot of people would try to understand the reality of moving towards nothingness and then tell people not to fear or worry.

True enough, as one could relate to the law of attraction, one shouldn't really worry about anything. It's in trust, fear and faith. So again, it's all in a person's head.

The worries like losing a loved one, losing reputation, trust, money, etc. brings out negative thinking, yes? So... one should be as carefree as everything, yeah? So what does this give, a reason to tell people not to worry? So, deadlines and all other shit should be eradicated?

No. Worrying is something one can and can't do. Can because it makes a person cautious. It creates a limit and discipline. But then the opposite? It's just wavering trust of another, given that chance.

Oh well, all in honesty.

Talking about a revolution

Sounds like a whisper.

- Revolution, Tracy Chapman

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Now, what is a new age?

Is is forgetting the past and moving on towards something better? Or creating a new path based on what was in the past, which could possibly lead to something greater?

I basically have no idea on what to think now.

I miss my girl, I miss my friends and what I don't miss is my mind which keeps on telling me, "You will only have yourself in the end."

Fuck, screw this. My mind is playing games on me. It's not yet the end, make me happy for once! I've had enough of this bullcrap. Let me enjoy my time in being with friends, and let not anything get in my way of being happy with my girl and my friends.

I am pissed at my own head. Or is it because over-thinking is making me sick?

I bet it's the latter. Having to grow up in a house where every move is a sin could get you brain damage.

Health. Give me health.

Thinking

On a shipwreck.

I remember, there was a chest full of treasures in it.

Searching for it would mean dedication to it.

That shipwreck, where is it placed?

What's in it?

Bones, swords and cannonballs.

That chest with the treasure.

Where is it?

What is it!?

Freudan fructose

Last night, I dreamt that I was singing, and I do not know what about. Later on, I was looking for something, then I had to run, fast. Then I was running, slower, like there was less gravity for me. Then a dog barking came out of nowhere, a pug specifically. It was barking mad, but suddenly, when I was close to the dog, I started floating, looking down on the dog, and woke up at 2:00am in the morning.

Weird.

Earlier this morning, I went online just to see what my dream means.

Songs - You need to express strong emotions that you are hiding inside. If expressed, it might lead to spiritual enlightenment or happiness.

Dog barking - Someone is or will be barking orders at you rather than tell it to you in a nicer manner. Most likely, you are annoying someone already.

Running in slow motion - You are pressured in real life, most likely in school, work or in a relationship.

Floating - You will be happy and you will get what you want.

Of course, it's kind of weird to connect the dots here, for all of them are significant. Yes I am pressured. Yes, I am in an office, but I don't expect them to be barking orders. Yes, I am stressed out, but not in a relationship. But I wouldn't know if I'm annoying someone. If I am, pray tell, and let's stop this nonsense then. And yes, I believe I am happy, and will soon be happier.

Now, who am I annoying? I really believe I should stop my childishness. BUT WHEN!?

HOW!?

Change in the system is the hardest to deal with.

Dream symbols and meanings here.

And once more

I puff a smoke.

For a long time now I've stopped smoking. What now?

I can't figure out what to do, or what to think. I'm starting to become irrational again, and my head is losing proper orientation.

Maybe it's all becoming wild.

What have I learned?

When you leave your island, make sure you leave the island.

Catchlights

Remember that one thing in old films, where photographers have this little stick with a bird doll at the end? Then you hear the line, "Watch the birdie!"

I've been reading on facial analysis in photography recently and found out how catchlights are very crucial in portraiture. It makes a subject's eyes larger and will become the focus of a portrait's composition. Now, what does this have to do with birdies?

This is just a speculation, but I believe it's for the subject to follow around with their eyes, with the photographer trying to find a nice placement of the catchlight and, at the same time, have a semi-candid photograph as it creates a comical feel. But of course, depending on the portraiture mood, the usage is optional.

One could say that there is a method photographer, a person who puts the mood he/she wants to have into his medium, one is photo, through himself first, then transpose it to a subject. The photographer then will create a setup that he will be comfortable in, rather than a superimposed subtext or mood.

Now, with catchlights, one can create a gleaming mood, magical, joyful or enchanting. A composition without catchlights would suggest mischief, brooding and anti-social due to the eyes' blackness.

So basically, catchlights are really optional, but highly crucial in its use.

Damn, photography isn't just composing, lighting and clicking shutters with technicalities and what-withs. It's composing with impositions, symbolisms and allegories. With so many "amateur photographers" who own DSLR's today, or for the reason of having them for the sake of passing Concept Photography classes, make the buy worth it by studying a bit more, rather than having it for the hell of it.

Cheers.

More on catchlights, facial analysis, etc., here.

Missing the old art of barfing

It's been a loing time since I barfed real good.

And those were alcohol days. But this time, I'm barfy for the reason of: editing.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but it fucking feels good to get work done. But, sad to say, for the doomsday people, patience, I did not do my job quick.

Anyway, this is fun. Heartburn, headache and drowsiness all over again.

Just like high school, and getting the hell better.

And since a friend said it, "It's for the love of the game."

True enough, it is.

Hey mam, sir, how may i help you? :)

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Hey miss, sorry for the short while. :

I'll make it up.

And again, the 3words will never change.

Never, babe. :)

Hey

So, this is life without thinking.

This is going away from everything.

This is laughing without talking.

This is seeing without hearing.

This is hearing without seeing.

This is speaking without talking.

This is hearing without listening.

This is logic without rationality.

But what are friends without skepticism on who you are?

Friends who have no doubts?

They.

Are.

The best.

Pieced Up

My eyes are seeing nothing but wind of calmness and anger.

Big difference, but could be joined in one sentence. It kind of frustrates me a lot to see people having to undergo harsh reality, but then again, it's something we must all learn from instead of having pity on.

Now to my reality, I am peaceful, yet I am angry.

Why?

It's an unknown. It will never go away.

Teen angst? Have it whatever you'd call it. I just call it anger.

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Miss, here I am again with my mind breakout. Forgive thee? :P

3 words. :)

Taken for granted

Magnifico.

A movie I can totally relate to. Doesn't everyone have a movie that they relate too? Then you get irritated when someone tells you that they can relate to it too, cause really, no one knows what it's like. Tell this to Michiko Yamamoto, she'll smile, but somewhere in her brain, "No, you don't know what it's like."

Here I am now trying to figure out where to go, what to do and how I am really doing. If every thing's great, details are fine, complete to the grain, to the sand, to the small things they call atoms.

I have been taking some of my friends for granted, and although I was aware of it, it kinda sucked to later on have the feeling that you wanted to be with them, but time is fucking up and then you feel like you're in "The Sims".

You have to keep all the friends up to the 100 level, even when you hang out with them and say something wrong, minus signs will flash above their heads. It's frustrating how that works, and whoever conceptualized the basis of The Sims, damn you, I praise you.

So, I wanna let everyone know, patience if I do not choose my words, my actions or even manage my time right, but for now, please forgive.

And forget.

And...

I'm thinking, if I die, I can see that the meters won't all have 100 or even above 90, but I wanna die seeing that I have a lot of meters to look at. Then again, if any of my friends were to die, I'd make sure that I'd have them by 100 first.

So, damn, hope y'all would understand what I'm thinking of and give me a slack in making every meter a 100, although it's impossible to have all, at least an 85.

What a weird way to put things, no?

Making things right

Now how do you see yourself in a year or so?

How 'bout an hour, or in a jiffy? Do they make differences?

Now think about this. What do you see yourself as when you grow up with a million things in your mind and have never resolved one to even begin with? Doesn't it make you feel irritable, anxious and insane?

And while you see differences in those small nanospecks, do the things in your head make you feel the same? Or different at least?

Now tell me this.

What should one think about when the differences are too big to even handle?

How should one be ready?

I wonder.

My answer is to create new paths, run parallel to the new changes, reciprocate them. Make better things in order for them to be better, complimenting, rather than attacking.

Is it not better?

I think I'll grab myself a beer.

I am fucking pissed and I don't know why.

What now? What do you think you should be thinking? Something about you and what's inside you?

Now how about this, tell me which you would listen to in a state of irrationality.

A philosophy in which you can give an input, have a moment to think on and maybe reflect and consider, or...

A story in which a person tells you someone got over it, it's just a phase, everyone went through that, this and that, this and that, in other words saying, "just get over it".

I really have no idea on what to think today, for I am fucking pissed.

Analyzing yourself over and over again makes you seem stupid, immature, selfish and bratty. Does it make you less of a person to try to change a bit of yourself?

Hey, no one and everyone is special in this world. It's just about timing. On what a man reacts to on what a man speaks of.

I am fucking pissed. And I have no reason whatsoever why.

Damn mind's on the fritz again. A screwdriver in the head to fix it? Some people would be happy for me doing so.

I am THAT irritating.

Thought-provoking

Everyone's not honest.

It's hard to let thoughts out.

Subconsciously they slip.

Which, by the way, makes me happier.

Why was I made stupid.

Why was I made like such.

It don't matter to me,

since no one would ever listen.

Ho, hum.

What joy.

Time to move towards nothingness.